Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize