took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
don't judge my taste in strippers
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
