I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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