That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
