I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
where am i from again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
