just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
