Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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