let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
