I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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