I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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