You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
