I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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