dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
