What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
People in love make me want to vomit
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
