I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
