OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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