btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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