honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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