her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
