I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fuck appropriateness.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
