is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize