i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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