shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
