legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
