I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
