you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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