So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
