she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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