he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
