Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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