So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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