i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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