His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
