Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
