im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
