he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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