You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
