1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
