i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
