i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
