I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
