dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sext me about skeletons
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
