pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
