i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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