I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
