Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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