are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Help. Why am I so naked?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
