I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
