Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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