wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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