He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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