just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
