with your own penis?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
