which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
