She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dear god my vagina.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize