i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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