There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
