I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
