Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize