I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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