Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
