Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
