I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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