bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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