I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
