He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Duck Duck Cougar?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize