Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
